Thursday, July 10, 2008

An Addicts Perspective




I see every thing I paint in this world, but everybody does not see alike. To the eyes of a miser a guinea is more beautiful than the sun, and a bag worn with the use of money has more beautiful proportions than a vine filled with grapes. – William Blake


My enjoyment of the arrival of spingtime may for another person bring painful memories of a life somehow unfulfilled. One person’s winter wonderland may bring to my mind a vision of a stark and hopeless landscape. One person’s summer beach party may bring a battle for another to avoid looking at starkly clad bodies. My ripe and tranquil autumn may bring to another thoughts of imminent death.
Each season of the year brings its own challenges. Many of us who are addicts feel sad or alone during different times of the year. For the alcoholic fall and winter may bring the challenge of maintaining sobriety through the holidays as they see others merry celebrations. A sex addict may feel sad or alone during the spring and summer when all around them they see people in love (not them). As addicts we often may think other people are happier than us. We may feel inadequate. So we struggle yet again with the same old feelings or memories.
I try to remind myself that even though the past continues to resonate in my heart, the present holds something different and better. If the eyes are opened to the particular beauty of the season, the reward will be its splendor.

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