"Words can sting. Words can hurt." -- Me
"Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglect" -- William Shakespeare
I'll never achieve a feeling of true safety by seeing my self-image in terms of my character defects. To give my shortcomings such power is to ensure that I will never have enough faith or strength to continue forward; I am either condemned to live in the past, trying to change it, or to the future, trying to control it.
The only safety is in the present, affirming the positive qualities I possess. Even if I'm in deep sorrow this moment, I can feel safe by appreciating that I have the ability to grieve, which takes courage and passion for life. Appreciating my many good points is a way for me to counteract the fear that eats away at my own security.
There are a number of ways I can affirm my own self-worth. I can choose affirmations from my affirmation jar, ask others for positive support, list my good qualities and include my progress in my journal or blogs. I deserve to have the freedom that comes from feeling safe within myself, not replaying the tapes that hold the hurtful words said in the past. Rather than saying to myself right now - "You're too skinny" or "You're not attractive," I can say "You're wonderful and I love you."