"The main motive for 'non-attachment' is a desire to escape from the pain of living, and above all from love, which, sexual or non-sexual is hard work." -- George Orwell
In popular romances, love is often presented as a bed of roses - without the thorns. We may also have the idea that loving is always like falling in love - tricky, risky, thrilling, open-ended, a real high. And perhaps that is what we go on seeking when we act out in unhealthy ways.
But love, over time, needs energy, loyalty, skill, patience, devotion - the same talents and dedication we need to bring to our work, or other commitments. Of course, love can be joyous and playful and childlike, but if it is to grow and mature it needs careful tending and hard work.
Love brings us into a close relationship with the pains as well as the joys of living. If we dare to become involved, intimate, committed, we will find ourselves becoming mature individuals in touch with the realities not of romance, but of life.