Feeling is the Inner Life; Expression is the Outer Life

I've realized that there's a difference between my ability to feel, my ability to express my feelings, and my ability to let go. I know there are many painful emotions I learned to suppress when I was young, particularly anger or sadness. Other emotions might be difficult to feel because they are connected to past pain.

Yet there's no letting go, no moving on, until I stop trying to avoid feelings such as sorrow, anger, rage or despair. I have found the way to begin working through difficult feelings is to reach out to people with a phone call, email, blog comment or going to a meeting. Other ways I have found to help are writing (blogging or journaling), having a good cry, or plan a healing ritual which can be as simple as taking a couple of days alone, just to think. For some of us, turning to our Higher Power, as we know it provides the spiritual help and nourishment we need.

The release that will come as a result of expressing our feelings will help to ease the pain. It's not realistic to release all of the pain from our past all at once, but we can begin by letting go of a little piece today.

Dispute

“Only that action is just which does not harm either party to a dispute.” -- Gandhi

I find myself occasionally embroiled in a bitter dispute and feel determined at all costs to impose my solution, even though I know it may harm someone (my opponent). I don’t really want a solution at all; I want revenge.

The desire to harm others may be derived from feeling that I have been hurt, perhaps as a child. I may be recalling feelings of being neglected, misunderstood, or even abused and assaulted. So to me, in my mind, the world owes me something and I intend to collect. I may even bear grudges and resentments against successful people, not because they have done me wrong, but merely because they are – successful.

I need to let my shame and sorrow out into the clear light of day. By opening myself up to others, I will surely find that together we can defuse my anger and desire to hurt others. I can stand on equal footing with others and have no more need for resentment and rage.
I know that I am gradually getting rid of my secret shame that causes me to act out of anger and vindictiveness.