“Only that action is just which does not harm either party to a dispute.” -- Gandhi
I find myself occasionally embroiled in a bitter dispute and feel determined at all costs to impose my solution, even though I know it may harm someone (my opponent). I don’t really want a solution at all; I want revenge.
The desire to harm others may be derived from feeling that I have been hurt, perhaps as a child. I may be recalling feelings of being neglected, misunderstood, or even abused and assaulted. So to me, in my mind, the world owes me something and I intend to collect. I may even bear grudges and resentments against successful people, not because they have done me wrong, but merely because they are – successful.
I need to let my shame and sorrow out into the clear light of day. By opening myself up to others, I will surely find that together we can defuse my anger and desire to hurt others. I can stand on equal footing with others and have no more need for resentment and rage.
I know that I am gradually getting rid of my secret shame that causes me to act out of anger and vindictiveness.