God Loves Me Because I’m Human Not Despite It

“For so it must be, and help me to do my part.”  -- A Tibetan Master

It’s been said that God exists only in the present. That means we must live in the present if we are to find God.  In God’s eyes, we are worthy and loveable as we are, today.  ‘God never rejects part of creation.

Can we accept that our God, Higher Power or Universe loved us even we were at our very worst? Can we accept that God loves us if we are struggling, or slipping today?  If this happens, we can pick ourselves up again and make better choices and pray to God for help.

The power of the present makes it possible for God to love each one of us unconditionally because God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, just willing to do our very best.  Only in the present do we have the power to choose our attitudes and actions, and it is this freedom that links us to God’s power.

Better Bend Than Break

There’s an old fable about the competition between the reed and the oak during a gale storm. As the wind howled, the oak boasted, while the reed said nothing. The wind became a tempest, and the reed bent down flexibly to the ground. The oak fell, uprooted.

Sometimes we seem strong but we are just being stubborn. We become rigid in our moral positions and don’t even try to understand the problems of those around us. We like to be thought of as uncompromising and tough.

Maybe we’re frightened. Perhaps we fear that if we even start to compromise we will be lost; on sign of weakness and the dam will burst and we’ll be up to our old tricks again.

Don’t confuse rigidity with true strength. To be strong we need to be tolerant, responsive, and gentle. We need to be strong in a loving, flexible, human way. This is a central part of one’s personal growth.

What I Want is to be Myself Again

I’m learning that when we lose faith in our feelings, we lose faith in ourselves and become outer-directed. That is, we look to the world to tell us how to feel and what to do.  We seek approval and love from others so we can prove to ourselves that we are worthy.  Paradoxically, to be outer-directed is to be self-absorbed. How can this be?  We feel so unsure of who we are , that we cannot let go, be spontaneous or real.

We can reclaim ourselves by becoming inner-directed.  This means looking within ourselves for the direction we need.  When we’re just beginning to learn to trust our feelings, this can seem to be truly agonizing.  It means trusting the reality of our needs and our right to express them.  Only then can we find the faith in ourselves and in life, that we have lacked.

Becoming inner-directed takes self-acceptance and self-love.  It also takes time. Until then, there will be no real peace because it is the only way to find ourselves.

Defying Gravity From the Broadway Musical “Wicked”

Defying Gravity

GLINDA

(Spoken)

Elphaba - why couldn't you have stayed calm for

once, instead of flying off the handle!

(Sung)

I hope you're happy!

I hope you're happy now

I hope you're happy how you

Hurt your cause forever

I hope you think you're clever!

ELPHABA

I hope you're happy

I hope you're happy, too

I hope you're proud how you

Would grovel in submission

To feed your own ambition

BOTH

So though I can't imagine how

I hope you're happy right now

GLINDA

(Spoken)

Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry:

(Sung)

You can still be with the Wizard

What you've worked and waited for

You can have all you ever wanted:

ELPHABA

(Spoken)

I know:

(Sung)

But I don't want it -

No - I can't want it

Anymore:

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

Of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try

Defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you can't pull me down!

GLINDA

Can't I make you understand?

You're having delusions of grandeur:

ELPHABA

I'm through accepting limits

'Cuz someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But till I try, I'll never know!

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love

It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down:

(Spoken)

Glinda - come with me. Think of what we could

do: together.

(Sung)

Unlimited

Together we're unlimited

Together we'll be the greatest team

There's ever been

Glinda -

Dreams, the way we planned 'em

GLINDA

If we work in tandem:

BOTH

There's no fight we cannot win

Just you and I

Defying gravity

With you and I

Defying gravity

ELPHABA

They'll never bring us down!

(Spoken) Well? Are you coming?

GLINDA

I hope you're happy

Now that you're choosing this

ELPHABA

(Spoken)

You too

(Sung)

I  hope it brings you bliss

BOTH

I really hope you get it

And you don't live to regret it

I hope you're happy in the end

I hope you're happy, my friend:

ELPHABA

So if you care to find me

Look to the western sky!

As someone told me lately:

"Everyone deserves the chance to fly!"

And if I'm flying solo

At least I'm flying free

To those who'd ground me

Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am

Defying gravity

I'm flying high

Defying gravity

And soon I'll match them in renown

And nobody in all of Oz

No Wizard that there is or was

Is ever gonna bring me down!

GLINDA

I hope you're happy!

CITIZENS OF OZ

Look at her, she's wicked!

Get her!

ELPHABA

:Bring me down!

CITIZENS OF OZ

No one mourns the wicked

So we've got to bring her

ELPHABA

Ahhh!

CITIZENS OF OZ

Down!

To What End? The Purpose of Our Relationships

I love the Broadway musical Wicked. For those readers unfamiliar with the story, it is based on the best-selling novel, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory McGuire which runs parallel to the classic novel by L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

Wicked tells the story of Elphaba, the future Wicked Witch of the West and her relationship with Glinda, the Good Witch of the North. Their friendship causes them to face their opposing personalities and viewpoints, rivalry over the same love-interest, their reactions to the Wizard's corrupt government and ultimately, Elphaba's public fall from grace. The plot is set mostly before Dorothy's arrival from Kansas and includes several references to well-known scenes and dialogue in the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz as a back-story.

Wicked is running here in the Phoenix metro area at Tempe’s Gammage Auditorium throughout the month of July, 2009. Find out if Wicked is coming to your area and check this musical out. In the meantime, I wanted to share the lyrics to a song from Wicked. The song is sung between Elphaba and Glinda, just before the finale. I've shared the lyrics to Defying Gravity from Wicked in an earlier post.

For Good

(Elphaba)

I'm limited
Just look at me - I'm limited.
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda.
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...

(Glinda)

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba)

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda)

Because I knew you
(Both) I have been changed for good

(Elphaba)

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for

(Glinda)

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

(Both) And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda)

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba)

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both)

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda)

And because I knew you...

(Elphaba)

Because I knew you...

(Both)

Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

This song has inspired me at a time when I have been feeling challenged by my relationships. Some of my relationships seem static and difficult. I have begun to wonder if it would be in the best interest of both of us to move along.

Art is Meant to Disturb

The Mask of Mental Illness – By Christopher Dale Eshenbaugh

I can see that my new life will be full of the unknown, but that is what can make it exciting and creative.

Many great artists were neglected or even abused during their lifetime because their work was considered too provocative.  Painters like Van Gogh, poets like Blake or Poe, and novelists like James Joyce were pushed out to the margins of society because their vision was too disturbing.

Most of us like a comfortable life, and those of us who are addicted to one high or another may not want to be troubled by new ways of seeing and imagining the world.  Yet, the day comes when our addiction no longer satisfies us and we begin to long for a new vision and version of our lives.  Art can help us in our recovery. 

Art allows us to change our way of looking and living, even if at first the change is disturbing.  Like artists, we can create new images and new patterns for our lives.  At first, it may be painful.  Old, comfortable habits die hard!  But, as we move forward, taking our little baby steps, by baby steps, we come to see that it’s exciting to be on the move and even at the frontier of new, creative endeavors.  Creativity, after all, comes from loving ourselves and others. 

The Power of Art

The Mask of Domestic Violence – By Artist, Christopher Eshenbaugh

 

“Thanks to art, instead of seeing one world (our own), we see it multiplied.”  -- Marcel Proust

 

I’ve been looking at the therapeutic nature of art to one’s recovery lately.  In our active addiction, we tended to have a single, narrow view of ourselves and the world we live in.  We thought that everyone was obsessed by using, fantasies and erotic images; we saw others perhaps as mere doubles of ourselves. 

One of the great joys I find in reading is the ability to enter other people’s lives.  We often come to know fictional characters even better than our friends because a novelist can give us the illusion of being all-powerful and all-knowing.  So we get a special “inside view,” and many people in books become familiar and very dear to us.

Reading can take us out of ourselves and expand our views of other people.  We learn that, indeed, “it takes all sorts to make up a community in this world of ours,” and our lives become less isolated through contact with others.  The power of art is to deepen and enrich this perception of ourselves in relationship to the world.  Through reading, watching plays and films, or exploring a painter’s world, we begin.

Let Your Creativity Emerge!

 

“It is the creative potential itself in human beings that is the image of God.”  -- Mary Daly

Within each of us is a creative person.  Getting comfortable with our creativity often means letting go of tight, rigid thinking so that the spontaneous, artistic side of ourselves  can emerge. 

Whether or not we think of ourselves as artistic, we are.  To be artistic is to create , an instinct that we all possess as human beings.  Each day, as we make our way along this path toward personal growth, we find the courage to create ourselves anew.  One way to encourage our creativity is to find an outlet for it.  I love learning to play the organ, digital photography and editing, writing short stories for children and poetry.  My friend Albert enjoys beading and Native American dance.  In my last two posts you’ve enjoyed the art of Christopher Eshenbaugh.  For you perhaps you’ll find your creative self through embroidery, furniture refinishing or gardening.  Most anything that allows us to create something outside ourselves can be good. 

The joy of working with our body, spirit, mind and feelings is truly a joyful experience with an amazing reward at the end: we have finally created something new, and in it, we can see ourselves.

Where I Start and Where I End

"It is an old an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way." -- Rollo May

Our boundaries are both inside and outside ourselves. No one can set them for us; we can only set them. For many of us, boundaries are often unfamiliar. We may wonder, What are they? How do we use them? Some of us may have come from families where, as children, our boundaries were disregarded, perhaps creating a pattern we continue to live out as adults.

Starting to set boundaries for ourselves takes time and lots of practice. Because the experience is so unfamiliar, we may find ourselves vacillating between two extremes - holding back out fear of blurring our boundaries, or acting as if we have no boundaries at all. But our willingness to se boundaries and stick with them brings a clearer sense of who we are. We begin to learn where we start and end. We start to learn the same about other people. With boundaries comes a new sense of self-respect because they become our affirmations to ourselves that we are not objects to be trampled upon or used, but rather human beings, with dignity.

One way to create boundaries with people is to establish priorities in our relationships. In the past, out of loneliness or neediness, we may have talked to anyone, whether the person wanted to listen or notl. In this mixed-up world, we would find ourselves withholding our true feelings from people close to us, and spilling them instead on the cashier at the grocery store.

As we grow in self-esteem. our relationships improve and we act in positive ways to meet our needs. Then we have a better sense of who we are. We make choices in our relationships and take responsibility for them. We learn to bear the pain of boundaries that are not respected and enjoy the peace from those that are.

We no longer need to give ourselves away in bits and pieces; we know now what it is like to be whole. We can simultaneously have aquaintences, friends, co-workers, and even close, intimate relationships in our lives. We can trust we will act appropriately and that our boundaries will keep us safe.

A Moment of Awareness is a Moment of Grace

My inside, listen to me, the greatest spirit,
The Teacher, is near,
wake up, wake up!
Oh, friend, I love you, think this over
Carefully! If you are in love,
then why are you asleep?
-- Anonymous

I often know that I have met a challenge in my life when I become suddenly aware of new knowledge. It’s as if a light goes on, and things suddenly make sense. One friend of mine refers to this as “a blinding flash of the obvious.” It’s important to take such a moment of awareness seriously; it is a cue that a lesson has been learned and that it’s time to move on.


In the past, not trusting myself and not in touch with my connectedness to the Universe, I relied on unhealthy ways to make sense of my life. The more I used intellect and will to manage and run my life, the less I accomplished.


A moment of awareness is a moment of grace. It’s as if the Universe gives us a wonderful gift, and we can turn right around and say, “So that’s what this is all about!” One’s receptiveness to such a moment gives us the willingness to trust where we have been and the strength to go where our life calls us next. I will always cherish the awareness in my life.