What I Want is to be Myself Again

I’m learning that when we lose faith in our feelings, we lose faith in ourselves and become outer-directed. That is, we look to the world to tell us how to feel and what to do.  We seek approval and love from others so we can prove to ourselves that we are worthy.  Paradoxically, to be outer-directed is to be self-absorbed. How can this be?  We feel so unsure of who we are , that we cannot let go, be spontaneous or real.

We can reclaim ourselves by becoming inner-directed.  This means looking within ourselves for the direction we need.  When we’re just beginning to learn to trust our feelings, this can seem to be truly agonizing.  It means trusting the reality of our needs and our right to express them.  Only then can we find the faith in ourselves and in life, that we have lacked.

Becoming inner-directed takes self-acceptance and self-love.  It also takes time. Until then, there will be no real peace because it is the only way to find ourselves.

What Happens to You When You Feel Fear? This Is What Happens to Me.

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - One Day at a Time in Al-Anon

Nothing freezes me in my tracks like fear. How many times have we let fear stop us from doing what we really wanted to do? For me, I know fear stopped me from finding new clients for my business, finding a job, being honest with someone close to me, finding a new place to live and even from asking someone out on a date. But I couldn’t because I was afraid. The truth is, the moment our fear takes control, our self-will also takes control. The first thing to do is to admit to ourselves that we’re afraid. The second is to find out why. Discovering why may mean calling someone to talk, meditating or taking a “personal inventory” of ourselves. To feel the fear lift is to have ourselves back again. Then, when we know how we feel, we’ll know what to do. Susan Jeffers, a well known author puts it this way, “Feel the fear, and do it anyway”.